Small part of my journey

I thought I'd share some of my *Before* photo's as it reminds me how far I've traveled and keeps me motivated to continue - it also helps me to work towards never regaining the weight.

The photo above was taken on my first trip to London...I remember feeling pretty good at this time...I had lost a bit of my weight I gained when I first moved to Germany - I was 82kg's when I arrived in Germany and at this stage was about 78kg's
Two months later, I was a little thinner... now 76kg's and feeling very happy with myself...the only times I posed for a full body shot photo were the times I felt happy about my weight...So looking at this photo tells me I was happy ( or so I thought )
Looking at these photo's I can't believe I actually allowed myself to get to this stage...

My weight was never constant, if I dieted I got it down to about 72kg's...once I even got it to 69kg's, but only for a week - if I didn't focus on my weight and just *lived* ( as everyone calls it ) my weight would be about 78-80kg's naturally.

I hated the mirror, I hated my body, it looked middle age and menopausal...I even had moments I told myself that this was the new me, a grandmother, I had to just accept it and that there was more to life than being slim and eating correctly, life was about enjoying oneself...but those thoughts never lasted long as I hated feeling the way I did.

I yoyo dieted for over 7 years...never able to keep my weight constant.

I'm now faced with a brand new challenge... keeping my weight down and not regaining it all back...so this is why I blog about this subject, I need to do whatever I can do to keep myself focused on my new eating lifestyle, writing my feelings down and remembering is what I need to help me stay focused, so please bare with me if watching your weight is not an important issue, this can get very boring when you are not on this sort of journey in your personal life I know. I used to get fed up of my thin friends talking about gym, clothing, diets etc, as I was in a different head space - struggling with my own weight and not wanting to bring attention to how I was feeling about myself at the time...if I didn't speak about my unhappiness with my weight then I didn't bring attention to it and so I was hoping they wouldn't notice my weight gain.

I thought about something last night with regards to my weight...I used to feel so old when overweight. I dressed like an older person, my mental state was of an older person...compared to how I'm feeling at the moment. I no longer feel silly getting up and dancing in my lounge when the Black Eyed Peas song * I got the feeling * comes on...

Being slimmer makes me much happier....

~ Thanks for visiting my blog ~